Plot: In defiance of the Elder Lords, the evil Outworlders are back to… oh, forget it. Listen, the good guys have six days to beat the bad guys or else Earth will be destroyed, okay?
Best quote: So many badly-delivered lines to choose from. Sindel: “Too bad you… will DIE!” (Watch). Shao Kahn: “And IT…IS…GLORIOUS!!” (Watch). Shao Kahn: “The Earth was created in six days; so too shall it be destroyed; and on the seventh day, mankind will rest… in peace!” (Watch).
Most implausible moment: Among the many things that annoyed me about the plot, how did they not figure out that Jade was a traitor?
‘Gratuitous Hotness’ bonus: 0 (out of 1 possible). IMDB’s content advisory for parents, under the “sex & nudity” section, warns that “A woman attempts to kiss a man.”
‘Gratuitous Violence’ bonus: ½ (out of 1 possible). The violence is “non-stop”, but it’s also so lame that it merits only a PG-13 rating. Mortal Kombat with no fatalities? Really? The fans demand gore!
Final score: 4½ (6 is worst). The makers of this movie clearly gave up trying very early. Giving casting, writing, direction, and special effects little if any effort, they focused on shoehorning as many unnecessary characters as possible into this pathetic excuse for a video game adaptation. Just look at the screenshot above. Honestly, we tried to get excited for this movie, but we would have been better off if we’d put the Mortal Kombat theme song on repeat, taken LSD, and spent 91 minutes slapping each other in the face.