Brought to Biloxi by my friend Will Chrysanthos, the Bad Movie tradition has been carried on by Will, myself, Jesse, KC, and other aficionados (and victims). “Bad Movie of the Week” documents this glorious celebration of all that is BS. It is not exaggeration to say that it has completely ruined my taste in movies.
Not just any movie can be a Bad Movie. High-budget movies can be bad, but a true Bad Movie must be low- or at most medium-budget. It must lack some or most of the following qualities: credibility, technical execution, cohesion, depth, realism, production value, acting, plot, and so on. It will usually fall into genres like action, science fiction, horror, or exploitation. In short, Bad Movies are movies that require great moral fortitude and strength of character to watch. Luckily, we possess these qualities in abundance.
Of course, Bad Movies differ in degree of badness. Luckily, we have the Bad Movie Scale, a six-tiered system designed to rank movies for our own personal catalogue and to guide wary beginners. As described by Will: “Suffice to say that First and Second tiers must be watched by anyone who sincerely wishes to learn. Third and Fourth tiers should also be watched, if only to better appreciate Ones and Twos. Fifth and Sixth tiers are better left alone unless you have a serious masochist streak.” In more detail, Ones vie for the title of Best Movie Ever Made (this does not disqualify them from being Bad Movies). Twos are excellent and worth watching more than once. Threes are still good, but, as Will says, “We’re plunging into irony here.” Fours definitely do not bear rewatching. Fives suck hard. And Sixes are a “complete waste of life and will embitter you towards all of humanity.”